"Falling asleep before the credits roll" is a phrase I wrote down long ago, only just rediscovering it in my writings upon brainstorming titles for this body of work. The title page is the last element I create when compiling a zine, because it is the most complex -- it must accurately embody the thematic arc of the piece, and I felt my historic bad habit of falling asleep before a film ends to be reminiscent of what happened to me amid the ebbs and flows of a terribly damaging relationship.

 

It is never just a poor habit, rather there are other factors at play, and this is precisely the point -- I would begin a film far too late in the evening, for instance, virtually setting myself up for the same result, time after time, just as I granted second chance after endless chance to a man who I just refused to believe when he showed, rather than told, his true feelings (or lack thereof).

 

I would lay down, which is a near inherent pipeline to sleep, and delusional-ly believe I may stay awake, always conveniently forgetting. In both arenas, I expected different results from the much of the same -- the definition of insanity. But I am not insane, which is something I only came to realize after a long while. This creation is how I arrived.